Walked by Husky

izhunny:
“delgt:
“ xopachi:
“ skwinky:
“ lntruding:
“  Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My...

izhunny:

delgt:

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.


UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

Yes

I had to stop halfway through, I laughed until I cried.

(Source: medium.com, via dduane)

mun-auroralore:

mun-auroralore:

remythelad:

remythelad:

remythelad:

gh0stlychances:

so some news about AI. It seems Discord is apparently just. going to unconsentually add Clyde AI to servers in a slow roll out. The way they are doing this is rather than how we initially suspected he would show up as an option via the integrations tab on server settings, it appears that he is apparently being added into servers as a user who is part of the server that the admin would have to manually kick. He cannot be banned, but we can kick him repeatedly. The issue is it’s unclear if there will be a greeting message for when Clyde arrives into servers and he will attempt to infiltrate again and again. Small servers this is easy to spot, big servers this is an obvious issue of sifting through who is in your server.

if you see this man in your server kill him

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Important to note this has only been seen so far in a friend server and I have only seen it in one server so far. Community servers might be different it is simply something we do not know yet.

Here is an article from Discord about this thag updated about an hour ago

Aside from that I was able to go into permissions and make it so nobody in my server could interact with Clyde. I still do not know what information Clyde and by extension OpenAI has from what it might have taken from my server to “make Clyde better” there was no warning and no message despite how discord had pitched this. It says in this article that it will notify users but Discord did not do that at all.

Fuck AI

Another update! You can only kick Clyde in mobile if you are a server mod and you have to go through server settings and then members and click on clyde and then block!

If you want to let Discord know how bad this is, go to their feedback page and post a topic.

I already did, myself.

This has to violate some privacy laws- and definitely some copyright laws if the bot learns from writers- not to mention EULA laws.

Regardless, go yell at Discord to not do something that opens them up to a wide range of lawsuits.

The workaround for banning the bot doesn’t work anymore, but thanks to a reddit user, banning it via number ID DOES work, and I tested it myself to be sure!

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Happy Bot Hunting, everyone!

(via seananmcguire)

cubistemoji:

thinking abt that time in one of my art classes when the prof put up a silhouette of L from death note and said “this is not an effective design bc you can’t tell who this character is from this shape” 

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and everyone in the class went like “yes we can that’s L from death note”

(via zetabrarian)

findingfeather:

cassie-is-trans:

feministism:

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This made me cry

I used to watch this in playgroups, too, and what I really hated was the way that it’s not just families, it’s everything. The preschool line was one of the worst.

You’d have a kid coming for months to the community centre playgroup and he was just a sweet kid - sometimes he got angry, just like all the rest of the kids, sometimes he wanted to be a dinosaur or a scary lion, just like the rest of the kids, but he also loved the baby dolls and played house and wanted a pretty hat just like the rest of the kids. Some of them would even really explicitly like Dora the Explorer or they’d love Doc McStuffins or whatever, wouldn’t care. Would also love Bob the Builder, my point is that this shit’s gender appropriateness wasn’t even on their radar, and their parents were clearly fine with that, including the somewhat bro-y dads.

Then they’d start attending actual pre-school. And suddenly whether or not things were for Boys or Girls was Important. Suddenly Dora wasn’t acceptable; she was for Girls. Suddenly, Boys don’t play with baby-dolls. A lot of it is peer pressure - not kidding, in all innocence peer pressure, at four years old, because some of the OTHER kids HAVE been taught the world has Boy Things and Girl Things and it’s absolutely bad for Boys to like Girl Things.

One mom I talked to noted that on the one hand her kid loved pre-school and also she needed the care hours, and (as a valid concern) she did want her kid to know how to socialize with the rest of the world, but she was also pretty pissed that he’d spontaneously given up what used to be his favourite things because they weren’t “for boys” and was sad about it, and also four, so she couldn’t actually explain to him why he didn’t need to. (She’d tried.)

These were just people who hung out in the same nice liberal neighbourhood I nannied in and attended that playgroup at the community centre; I don’t know how things turned out for them, as we lost touch.

But this shit is toxic and it starts so early, and we have got to figure out how to stop it. We have got to figure out how to just let boys be fucking children, let them enjoy the things they enjoy without making them constantly check themselves to make sure it meets with Masculinity Approval. Do not do this to your kids. Dads, especially, do not do this to your kids but Moms too*.

And as a de jure woman stg when I see other women reinforcing this shit and I possibly can I will fight you. Do not fucking do this. Do not push your boy at “boy” stuff and demand they avoid girl stuff. Do not tease them for being scared, or bug them about doing “girly” things, or whatever. Do not. I will fight you. Don’t do it to them, and don’t do it to their dads/your male partners either. Your sons are listening. Don’t help this toxic bullshit.


[*if you are a parent who does not fall under dad or mom and you’re still enforcing gender roles I don’t know what to do with you but I will probably challenge you to a duel in a public place should we ever meet.]

(via beatrice-otter)

cumaeansibyl:

theraphos:

thegoodfoothousehold:

the-militant-catholic:

hidrihime:

liache:

ok kids repeat after me

vinegar and bleach makes chlorine gas, which is highly toxic

ammonia and bleach makes chloramine, which is highly toxic

rubbing alcohol and bleach makes chloroform, which is highly toxic

hydrogen peroxide and vinegar makes peracetic/peroxyacetic acid, which can be highly corrosive

be careful about your cleaning products and dont get yourself injured or potentially killed ok

why it so dangerous to be clean

As someone who’s job is to handle chemicals like this, I need to state that this information is IMPORTANT. Plenty of people have accidentally injured or killed themselves at home because they didn’t know what kind of reaction certain substances have with one another. Play it safe and don’t mix chemicals.

Also don’t use bleach to clean up urine it’ll create chloramine bc of the ammonia in it and you can give yourself chemical pnemonia that way

Every time I see “helpful” posts telling people to mix these things while cleaning I cringe with my entire body.

reblogging in this time of heightened interest in disinfectants. please don’t get fancy

(via beatrice-otter)

Anonymous asked:

Google Ambient Chaos if you ever need background noises for writing! It's a customizable soundscape website.

bunjywunjy:

blind-the-winds:

blind-the-winds:

Anon, when I first saw this ask, I thought it was going to be one of those mixers of nice, traditional sounds, like rain or a coffeeshop. And it is! And there’s lofi hiphop, my favorite sound to write to! Which means this is legitimately an excellent tool for writers, and I love you for introducing it to me.

But I also want to say. There are some choices here. That I need to point out. Because they’re either fantastic or questionable, and I can’t decide.

Things like …

Couple arguing.

A pale purple volume slider in the shape of an arc, on a dark purple background. The slider is set to 0, and in the center, there are two stick figures clearly engaged in a verbal fight. Beneath the slider, it's labeled with "couple arguing," as noted above.ALT

Medieval battle.

The same slider above, except the center figure is a pair of swords crossed.ALT

Beehive, where you can write to a fuckton of bees.

The same slider as above, but the center is a bee.ALT

Crime scene.

The same slider as above, but the center is crossed caution tape.ALT

And actually the perfect soundscape for NaNoWriMo.

Same slider as above, except the center is a radiation symbol. This one is actually labeled "nuclear siren."ALT

(It’s here, for those curious.)

Somebody found this last week and reminded me it existed, so I'mma bring it back to this blog because it’s about ten days until some of you will need that last one. :D

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I’m never using any other noise generator ever again.

khorren:

Tutorial: 5 second options for making a clear screenshot of your GW2 character

Hello and welcome to a very quick and dirty “screenshot of your character 101”. This isn’t gonna cover everything, but just some settings you may not know about to take a nice picture of your pixel child.

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Say hi, Aisling. Aisling is dressed very nicely, but this screenshot shows off too much background. It’s a very nice background, but we’re here to see you, Ais!

So we’re gonna crank the “Field of View” slider all the way to the left and get all up her face.

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Drag this little baby alllllll the way to the left.

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Lovely! We see her face a bit better now but the background is still very much like 70% of the screen. Also we probably want to see her bottom half. So we’re gonna crank these two settings allll the way to the left.

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Ah, she likes that. Lovely.

And if you wanna play with a tall or small little pal, then be aware of this ticky box!

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And if you want a nice shot of their face/upper half, we’re gonna zoom in as close as we can….

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Oh no. That’s not her face. So we go back to the “Vertical Position Near” setting and move that a bit to the right.

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Wonderful. Now my screenshot is majority my character rather than the crumbling ruins of the Eye of the North. And if you wanna get in closer you can zoom into first person then back out and quickly snap a pic if you like the background, or if you’re not too fussed about the background then go stand up against a wall.

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Thank you, Aisling. You can go back to WvW now.